Fighting Chance blog 5

The value of working hard NOW Friday, 16 March 2012 01:40 “Death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life's change agent. The benefit of death is you know not to waste life living someone else's choices. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition." Steve Jobs, Apple CEO 1955-2011. “Every death in one’s family poignantly conveys a message to their loved ones to live life more fully, presently and in the now”. Oprah Winfrey, American TV show host. “Love your family; try to do as much as you can. I think that’s why I’m always trying to burn the candles at both ends now. I want to be there for my family and for my loved ones, and if somebody needs me or wants to be with me, I feel really bad or guilty if I can’t be there for them”. Kris Jenner - Kardashian family mum, American TV personality, producer and author. Hi Readers, First of all, let me give you some personal background on the three people quoted above, all of whom are “visionaries” in their own right and own way. After being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in mid-2004 and not knowing how much time he had left to live as a result of that, the CEO of Apple Steve Jobs was somehow, I believe, “inspired” by that very fact to use his experience to share some insight with his fans and followers about how to wholeheartedly continue living your best and fullest life, in your own way, even in the very thick of adversity. The comment by American TV show host Oprah Winfrey was made when Canadian country singer Shania Twain was on Oprah’s show promoting her autobiography “From This Moment On”, after Shania expressed her sadness at losing both her parents in a car accident in 1987. The reason I quoted these three people is because I believe their words are perfectly relevant to this topic: The contrast of life and death. Parents often tell their kids that life sometimes and/or often isn’t delivered to us on a silver platter and often try to instil the “value of hard work” lesson in them; that they could have and do anything they want, as long as they work hard to obtain it and/or achieve it, which is a good lesson to impart.  I would happily welcome your feedback on this issue. But in this blog post, I’d like to pose these questions to my blog followers from two different perspectives, both from parents and individuals: Questions: 1. How do individuals find the right balance in life in relation to the difference between the “value of hard work” lesson, versus the “making the most of every growth opportunity that life may throw at them” lesson? 2. How do parents manage to find the right “balance” between, on one hand, instilling the “value of hard work” lesson in their children, while on the other hand also helping ensure that they make the best of the growth opportunities that life may offer them, even if that might include them pursuing their own leisurely dreams, likes and/or goals? 3. As an individual, how do you manage to live a “balanced” life that includes both the lessons listed above? Throughout my life, I was raised with the “value of hard work” lesson instilled in me and for most of my life that was pretty much how I operated. As I look back on what my life was like, growing up and having “the value of hard work” lesson instilled in me, I also now realise that for the past six years, both life and the universe were trying to wake me up to the fact that sometimes in life, there is never gonna be a right time to do anything that you intend on doing. If there was something I wanted to do, then I should go for it and not give up on it. Personally I can’t understand how this particular theory works but it does, and for a very good reason and that’s because as life runs its course it can sometimes take us on an unpredictable and emotional rollercoaster ride. I guess the most common mistake that people make who were raised with the “value of hard work” lesson, myself included, is that they “make” and let their whole lives revolve around it and make decisions around it; which is sometimes wrong because in hindsight, you sometimes might have allowed yourself to miss out on what potentially could have been an “interesting growth opportunity” to learn from, without even knowing it. The reason I quoted American TV personality, producer, author and Kardashian family mum Kris Jenner is because, let face it, we’ve all been there or have had to go there at one point or other countless times in life, and I think this particular quote is so relevant to this topic and will deeply resonate with readers. For me personally, I’ve always been a hard worker my whole life and I like doing things that can take me on a personal learning curve, but over time I’ve now also learnt how to enjoy the life moments and make the best of every opportunity given to me. But it took a few harsh “wake-up calls” to get me there. For me unfortunately, lightning did actually strike twice: first, it took a major personal health scare for me to finally realise that there is never going to be a “right” time to do anything that I intend on doing, particularly when it came to pursuing my dream of meeting my musician role model; and secondly, when my beautiful work family unexpectedly lost their beloved son and brother Shane O’Reilly last July, aged 21. Even though I personally never got to know Shane, his death taught me that NOW is the time to live, pursue my dreams and do whatever I like whenever I like to do it - because you never know when your last day is going to be. I write this article in honour of Shane and the three people that I quoted above.

Fighting Chance blog 4

Overcoming the hurdles of employment

Wednesday, 01 February 2012 03:36

Our In-house blog writer, Maria Makhoul, is back to look at the challenges people face in gaining employment. Employment: One's work, trade, or profession. Back in August 2011, when I introduced myself in my very first Fighting Chance blog, I briefly touched on what “employment” generally meant for and to me whereas this time, I’m delving deeper inside of what the different challenges that mainstream employment has to offer and entail for people with disabilities; what follows is a series of interviews with myself and my Fighting Chance colleagues Ray Sladic, Mark Wadsworth and Georgia Cooper about our employment experiences. Georgia Cooper 1. What is your disability and how does it affect your ability to work? Ray: “Well, I have mild cerebral palsy (CP). How does it affect me? Well, it doesn’t really affect me. But it can affect other people’s points of view.”  2. What are the difficulties of getting into mainstream employment that you can’t do anything about? Ray: “Well, you know, it’s very hard getting a job, especially for disabled people. Employers want a person that can be able to do everything, and sometimes they think you can’t do everything.” Mark: “Most jobs now days require a driver’s license and I had to give mine up last year. Getting to and from work is difficult but you can do it.” “All I require are toilet modifications and that’s about it. But then, I’ve never particularly liked working for someone else.  I’ve been self-employed since the age of 19. I’m pig-headed, I’m obstinate and I’ll tell people what I think.” 3. What kind of problems might you face in the workforce? Maria: “Whilst I can adapt to people being different, I can’t adapt to people getting angry with me for things I can’t do anything about. This is why I feel it’s really important to establish a rapport for the people I’m working for, if something personal comes up that you might find difficult to handle, you would be hesitant to talk to them about it if you don’t have a personable rapport.” “Georgia: For me, if I can’t get something myself I need some assistance. But I like to be as independent as possible, that’s the most important thing, to be independent and focused and confident as you can be.” 4. Have employers ever discriminated against you? Maria: “My last job wasn’t really challenging or stimulating. I was doing packaging and had leave due to ill health. They wanted me to increase my productivity and work too fast. My neck was hurting and it gave me frequent headaches. I would classify this as discriminatory, knowing how capable I am at doing everyday stimulating work tasks at my own pace.” “I would ask employees to follow their heads and hearts and to speak up if something is wrong and persist in speaking up if they don’t get heard, or just empower themselves to take a stand and leave if they feel that they’re not being heard.” Mark: “They wouldn’t dare.” Georgia: “No not really. Mostly employers have been pretty good.” 5. What does it mean for you to be employed? Maria: “It’s just given me a purpose of the ability to connect with others and getting to voice my opinions on many issues that matter to me outside my disability”. “I’ve been told that the work I am doing is inspiring, but I never saw myself that way I just saw myself as doing what any other person would do under the circumstances.” “It feels really comforting for me to work here (Fighting Chance) because I work with a family that is committed and driven to make a difference for people with disabilities and believe in me enough to employee me. I enjoy talking to my employers and I’ve established a great rapport with them. They know what I’m going through, if I go into work having a difficult time, they can ask what’s wrong and they help you get what you need to overcome whatever hurdles.” Mark: “Basically, it’s fulfilling, it makes you feel as though you’re contributing to society. The most important thing about working is enjoying the company of the people you work with...Except the boss.” The bottom line is, when life throws challenges at us, we all go through something that makes us become strong life survivors. Getting into mainstream employment is no exception to this rule because I wholeheartedly believe that each and every single one of us as human beings is an “unstoppable” and capable warrior, in our own right; that should be given a chance.

Fighting Chance blog 3

Stares and the Power of Kind Words:

Tuesday, 24 January 2012 23:43

While babies and toddlers can't help staring, when other people stare it can be hurtful. This is why it's important for people to be educated about disability and why staring can be harmful. As anyone who has a disability will know, growing up can be like riding a rollercoaster. Often you search far and wide for inspiration about how you can make your life more meaningful and achieve a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Furthermore, one of the most common and frequent hurdle that you face is the unkind stares of others. Despite attempts to ignore people’s stares, it is still a hard thing to endure. For me personally, I’ve narrowed the reason for these stares to be because I have to use a wheelchair for long distances. I have moderate cerebral palsy and I get tired. As I’ve previously mentioned my second work blog “The Prejudice of Words”, I sometimes feel “reluctantly” lucky that I can do the things I can. For example, I feel very lucky to have clear verbal speech. My heart also goes out to my friends who can’t speak, or whose speech is severely impaired but are just as equally smart and bright as me. I often think how daunting this must be for people who cannot speak, to be stared at by others. For me growing up, I didn’t attract as much “staring” attention when I use my walking frame. I always found this interesting, and thought it to be because the walking frame gives me a sense of normalcy, which is not there if I use my wheelchair. Personally, I strongly believe that no-one should be allowed to stare at me just because they think I’m “different” when I use my mobility equipment, but I only give exceptions to this rule to babies and toddlers because “stare helplessly” without meaning to cause any harm. So, I went on a quest to try and find something to help people deal with their staring woes, and recently I found just the thing. I was out shopping in Hornsby and walked into a shop called “ESQ Design” and saw a grey t-shirt with a cute little panda that read: “Don’t worry be happy, look at me I’m happy”. The message on this shirt is one which I think all people with disabilities should carry with them, and I believe it is one which could make a difference to people’s confidence and self-esteem. It certainly has for me. People might look at us, but let it be because we are happy with who we are.

Fighting Chance blog 2

The prejudice of words Monday, 31 October 2011 04:59 Fighting Chance's in-house blog writer, Maria Makhoul, on why language itself poses a big challenge for people with a physical disability... Growing up with Cerebral Palsy (CP) is tough. I have personally faced discrimination and prejudice throughout my life. But at just 13 I proactively decided to overcome that discrimination. I wholeheartedly decided to learn how to have the inner strength and deep personal confidence that I needed to face whatever hurdles life threw at me, despite the inevitable stares my disability brought on and what others thought of me. Now, I know surviving your teenage years is and can be an eternity but you can get through it. My own teenage years also came with their challenges. I was born with the moderate type of cerebral palsy which means that while I am able to walk using mobility equipment to support me with my physical balance issues, I use a wheelchair for long distances because I get tired. Because my CP is mild, I sometimes feel “reluctantly” lucky that I can do the things I can. But despite that, I personally try to push myself to try and attempt new recreation activities as well as pursue new personal and career goals. I even have come up with my own terminology for the idea of “disability”. The term I use is “permanent lifetime challenge” because it empowers people to believe in themselves, and realise that having a disability won’t stop a person from leading a limitless life. My preference for the terminology “permanent lifetime challenge” came from two realisations. Firstly, I feel that the word “disability” is a problematic one. 1. The word “disability” actually means “a handicap that leaves one unable to do something”. 2. From that definition itself, the word “handicap” actually means “something that holds a person back or makes things harder”. 3. The syllable “dis” means to belittle someone or to show disrespect for someone. Now, what is really interesting about the concept of being considered ‘disabled’ is that some people assume that just because you are physically “crippled” then that must mean that you are also intellectually “crippled” too. I hope very much that perception changes someday soon. In my opinion, a lot of people are nervous about befriending someone with a disability, let alone employing them, solely because of that perception. And it is so wrong. My second realization of the value of the term “permanent lifetime challenge” came from these three words themselves. 1. The word “permanent” means lasting, or meant to last for a very long time and so not temporary or changing 2. The word “lifetime” means the period of time during which an individual is alive. 3. The word “challenge” means the calling for work, effort and the use of one's talents. I personally and truly believe that words have power. The reason why I say this is because I see that some people think that their disability can stop them or limit them from doing normal, regular activities and living their life to its fullest potential, which can both extremely sad and heart-breaking for both the individual and their family. In fact, it should be the complete opposite!  Such things as ‘disability’ don’t have to control and consume you, unless you personally allow them to do so.

Lenita's book promotion article

There’s more to my friend Lenita Vangellis than meets the eye…Although she’s best known for being an actress and lyricist as well as being the mother of 2005 Australian Idol contestant, turned singer/songwriter and youth and crisis worker James Kannis.

Although she’s a woman of other multiple talents, despite that she is equally one of the most loving, humble, strong and compassionate people that I’ve met; and while trying to remain true to our personable self and individuality can sometimes be a tremendously challenging task for us to uphold particularly when you’ve spent most of your life having your “career classifications” overshadow your personable identity, and yet despite that, Lenita always conducts herself with a full capacity of humbleness, elegance and grace.

Some people say she is strong-willed, which is true but she’s also a really free-spirited individual as well as a really loving mother who supports her children and allows them the freedom to grow. Anyone who’s taken the time and/or has had the opportunity to get to know her personally will understand exactly what I’m talking about. 

Mid last month, I was lucky to have been invited to support her in the launch of her book "Ashanti's Symphony". Overall, I had a great night and it was great to see her in person again, to reunite with James 3 years after I interviewed him, and meet the rest of her family (Lenita’s 3 other kids, husband and mum) whom were all really friendly. When I was there, I saw Greek Australian celebrity fashion designer Alex Perry (whom she’s been friends with for years) and he made a really nice introductory speech about her and I also coincidentally bumped into "My kitchen rules 2012" participant Steve Georgiou.

The book is available to buy on 

Chinese New Year & Dragon Boat Racing

The Dragon-Boat Racing festival is a yearly event that eventuates in honour of Chinese New Year, and I was lucky enough to be a part of it the other day.

Chinese New Year is a celebration where people of Chinese heritage from all over the world come together to celebrate a day that symbolises the arrival of luck, happiness, and prosperity. This year, 2012, is the year of the dragon. It is traditional for families to de-clutter their houses to get rid of the “old demons” from the previous year in order to start afresh in the next.

I started off the day by catching the ferry from Meadowbank to Darling Harbour, and while I was there, to my surprise; I discovered that Chinese New Year Celebrations were on. I noticed that there were boats with interesting drawings of dragons on them and as I come closer, I realised that they were boats made for racing.

Dragon Boat-Racing is a traditional Chinese New Year activity. The boats that we saw were competing in the Chinese New Year championships. The Chinese New Year competition has the highest levels of participation of any dragon boat racing contest in the country.

While I was there, a man named walked past and called out to me: “Hi Maria”, then when I suddenly turned around to see who it was; it turned out to be one of the disability personal trainers that I know, called Alexander Roach.

“How are you?” He said. “I’m competing in the race with Lisa Gombinsky, you can find her if you want.”

I watched a bit of a race then I spotted a man that was wearing traditional Chinese attire who goes by the name of “Mr Lucky” and he handed me a red envelope with a chocolate coin in it that symbolises the traditional Chinese practice of giving presents on Chinese New Year.

The highlight of the day was, when “Mr Lucky” handed me the symbolic red envelope with the chocolate coin in it as a gift.

Being beautiful and thinking beautifully

Please note that the following blog was intended to be a TV, radio or an online testimonial/advertorial chronicling my experience using the product “Proactiv”. But due to the fact that my “before shots” and “after shots” photos were unclear I can no longer pursue it that way, instead I’ve decided to turn it into a blog.

I would like to thank my actress and lyricist friend Lenita Vangellis for taking the time and liberty to help me edit the advertorial script draft.

In this blog, I’d like to challenge you readers to really think deeply about what it really means “to be beautiful and to think beautifully”, in other words; what really defines “true beauty”? I not only want use this article to promote “Proactiv” and its “looking good is feeling good” component “guarantee” but to somehow also convey a message to readers that they don’t have to “look” a certain way to “be” beautiful, and that “actions” speak louder than words and “looks”.

Let’s face it; all of us are bound to face personal self-image or body issue(s), whether they are permanent or temporary, at some point or another in our lives. In some cases “first impressions” are based or judged on the way that you “look” and we sometimes can’t particularly argue or debate that point (celebrities sometimes have these issues too.)

But believe it or not, there is and always has been

a correlation between beauty and brains that has been around for centuries and which “does actually exist”; (when you come to think of it). I personally believe that many of us have forgotten about it and/or have failed to realise it. These days our society is based on materialistic things and the only perceptions that we seem to get of “beauty” these days are those from celebrity-related magazines.

I guess the bottom line is, that each and every single one of us should and must make more of an effort to “wholeheartedly” discover, or at least try to discover,
the unique and individual qualities that help us to “formulate” our beauty from within and to celebrate that.

For me, I rely and have always relied on my inner beauty to help guide me and shine during my own personal challenges whether it’s with or without acne. Believe me it does actually work, and it could work for you too.

My experience with “Proactiv” is as follows:

I was born with Cerebral Palsy (CP) and have suffered from acne throughout my teenage years. The acne itself didn’t affect me so much. However it wasn’t long before I was subjected to the inevitable stares my disability brought on and people continually asking me what was wrong with my face. That and the name calling which at times was hard to handle eventually took its toll on my self-esteem. By the time I reached my adult years the constant taunting eventually took control of what little self-esteem I had left. Even so, I constantly remind myself that it’s one’s inner beauty that really counts.

I know Cerebral Palsy is something I have to live with but the acne I could do something about, that’s when I turned to “Proactiv” and never looked back. My skin has improved together with my self-esteem and now I’m even more determined to live my life to its fullest potential!