Please note that the following blog was intended to be a general book “review” about two of my favourite celebrity biography books but due to the fact that everyone has different tastes in terms of what they like to read, and I don’t want to be “impolitely critical” about the books and/or their celebrity authors whom I both admire and highly respect, I decided instead to turn this blog into a book “reflection” chronicling what I learnt from reading them and why I feel that they’re a must-read.
For me as a freelance writer, whilst I’m thankful to have my journey as a writer be the way it is now, there are times where I sometimes wonder what sort of writer I would be had it started in reverse. What I mean by that is, when I growing up, from my childhood to teenagehood, I started reading fiction and novel books like The babysitters club, Sabrina the Teenage Witch and New York minute (which is also a movie adaptation starring American fashion designer and actresses the Olsen twins Mary-Kate and Ashley) and kept lots of journals/diaries. I stopped reading and writing altogether at 16, however, to focus on my schoolwork then I took them both back up when I was 19 and have stuck with it ever since. Now as an adult, I’m more into reading celebrity biography books and one of the most interesting and fascinating things about writing, that I’ve found, is that it allows you, without any judgement whatsoever, to go deep within you to places that you’ve never been before which in turn can sometimes offer you different perspectives and/or give the opportunity to express yourself from a completely different place. I’ve gotten so many great quotes and learnt several valuable life lessons that are particularly from reading the celebrity biography books alone that in hindsight makes me wonder whether I should’ve started reading the celebrity biography book first and as a child because reading them taught me life lessons. On the other hand, reading novel and fiction books taught me about wording, creativity and expressions.
So, the two favourite books going under my “reflective” spotlight are Anh Do’s The happiest refugee and Kris Jenner’s Kris Jenner and all things Kardashian. The reason as to why I particularly chose those two is because they both chronicle the fact that dreams do come true and they both have similar teachable messages but also offer different thought-provoking perspectives on permitting oneself to dream and believing in the possibility that dreams can be and are achievable.
I understand completely that every reader has their own opinion(s) about the Kardashian family, which is fine; you either love them or hate them, each to their own. But, back in 2011, I had the pleasure of reading their mum Kris Jenner’s book. In it, she takes readers right back to where it all began - her childhood. She also talks about how she “dreamt” every step of her life and uses her experience to motivate others to believe in that possibility and thrive with it. She also talks about how she “consciously” chose to turn the difficult and unexpectedly life-changing challenges that life threw at her into second chance “awakenings” that in turn helped make her a better person.
I, for one, have
had the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover” thrown at me my whole life. So
throughout my own life I try my very best to follow that saying myself,
whenever and wherever I can, and when it comes to the passing judgement on the
Kardashian family there’s no exception.
While I respect
the fact that opinions are divided on them, I also feel that your past doesn’t
define and/or control you unless you choose
for it to do so, and let’s face it even the “world’s worst sinners”
sometimes need and/or deserve “second chances” to redeem and/or better
themselves.
So after watching
only four episodes of their reality TV show/family documentary Keeping up with the Kardashians, I then
made up my mind and formulated my opinion about them: I think that they’re a
reasonably nice family whose members protectively and lovingly look out for one
another and are also extremely close and tight-knit.
They also demonstrate
their kindness streak by doing frequent children’s hospitals appearances,
giving to charities, and they even helped a single mum-of-three who was still
living in her caravan after she lost her home in 2005’s Hurricane Katrina, that devastated the U.S. city of New Orleans, by
donating all the furniture and household appliances
she needed to help her start anew and rebuild her life.
This is just
me, but I also feel that they purposefully use their reality TV show as a
learning-curve outlet for viewers to draw examples from.
All in all, reading Kris’ book was inspiring and it
taught me things that made me wish her book was written in my teenage years. But
the thing that resonated with me the most was one of her quotes which said:
“If someone says ‘no’ then you are talking to
wrong person”.
And I guess the
reason why this particularly speaks to me so accurately, is because; all
throughout my life growing up and sometimes still today as an adult, whenever I
say to people that I want to try and attempt new recreation
activities as well as pursue new personal and career goals, they look at me and
respond to me like I’m a “easy-going and crazy weirdo” and have given me reactions
of ignorant and continuous eye-rolling. But I now feel proud of myself and also very lucky
because, time and time again I’ve managed to prove my critics wrong and defied
the odds by never taking “no” for an answer (even if it entailed the fact that
I sometimes felt the need to be and/or become a “stubborn bitch”), deal with, put
up with, and/or survive the scrutiny and/or drama that may come with it; and
insisting-without-restraint to do things my way.
So I feel that that
quote alone has empowered me more than ever to wholeheartedly believe in
myself, my strengths and my overall capabilities.
The second book
I’ll now be talking about is The Happiest
Refugee by Vietnamese-born Australian comedian, actor and author Anh Do.
This book is so
un-put-down-able that I literally could’ve read it in one day straight, but it
took me five weeks to read. I got my daily dose of laughter from it but this
book also made me feel emotional at times. Most importantly it taught me
lessons on how to be forgiving of others. I loved it so much that I felt
inspired to write about it. What was also exciting was that a few of my friends
were reading it around the same time that I was but wouldn’t and didn’t give me
“spoiler alerts”.
All in all,
besides the fact that I would literally laugh before I got to funny sentences
and I would skip pages to see what I had to look forward to next, I thoroughly
enjoyed going on this funny, at-times emotional and thought-provoking ride that
Anh’s book had to offer me and I learnt heaps from it which I’ll share with you
readers in the next few paragraphs.
What inspired me to write about this book in the first place was a quote
that I read from chapter 7 which completely resonated with me. This quote was:
“I was actually furious at him. I realised that maybe some of the
teachers knew of my situation, and I was paranoid that it would get out. ‘Anh
is poor.’ ‘Poor Anh, his mum doesn’t have any money.’ ‘Don’t you feel so sorry
for the poor refugee?’ I cringed as I imagined them talking about me. I hated
being on the receiving end of sympathy.”
Reading that quote is what made me want to write about this book because
I felt somewhat a sense of “transitional empowerment*” from it.
While the writer in me was triggered by her heart to write a book
reflection about this particular book, the logical person in me told herself to
wait until she finished it completely; and boy it was worth the wait because I
learnt heaps from it – and I ended up following my heart and I’m currently
sitting at my computer typing away at this.
I can relate to all the family members in different ways, so I’ll start by
explaining my reason why I relate so much to the quote above which I also feel
directly correlates to why I can also relate to Anh’s younger brother Khoa.
Here’s the thing: I was born with a PLC (permanent lifetime challenge)
which is a moderate case of cerebral palsy and while some people think that their disability can stop them or limit them from
doing normal, regular activities and living their life to its fullest
potential, (which can both extremely sad and heart-breaking for both the
individual and their family), I on the hand, have refused to let it run or
control my life and also have disallowed for it to be the subject of self-pity
among and around me. This is why I can relate to Khoa (because I too sometimes hate
fanfare and fakes).
Secondly, the reason
why the quote above heartbreakingly hit home for me
is because I’ve been there, I understand how it feels – it hurts, and I cried
for 20 minutes straight. This may sound weird but, when I read that very
passage I just wanted to reach out and hug him (through the book somehow) and
say: “I know how you feel, you’re
such a brave person. Hang in there, it'll get better. And I want you to know that I now feel inspired by you, so thank you for that."
Ever since I started my new job in 2011 as a “new media and research
assistant” which entails me chronicling the challenges of a young
person with a disability through online blog-writing, I then started questioning
stuff further and became more opinionated then I thought I was before.
Ever since I started my new job in 2011 as a “new media and research
assistant” which entails me chronicling the challenges of a young
person with a disability through online blog-writing, I then started questioning
stuff further and became more opinionated then I thought I was before.
Then shortly thereafter reading it (that particular quote), I felt a
wave of “transitional empowerment” come over me because it did give me an
answer to the paragraph above which I’m 100% happy with - reading that quote
confirmed that I should keep doing what I do and not lower my personality standards
for anyone or anything. It also inspired me to turn the “negative” connotation
it continuously gives me into a “positive” and use it to help motivate and
inspire others to silence their critics and prove them wrong, because I
wholeheartedly believe that no-one deserves to be looked down on and/or victimised,
no matter what.
I also feel that Anh and I have one thing in common which I particularly
can relate to; We both have that “If you mess with my family or friends then
you mess with me” element instilled in our personalities, which makes me feel
like I’ve met my match in that attitude department.
Now I’ll talk about Anh’s comedic side, which I discovered when reading
the book, because I thought he made an interesting and funny observation about
how boys and girls get treated differently.
The 2 correlative quotes that I feel best represent the statement above
are:
“It’s funny how boys and girls are treated differently. My sister always
got a haircut at the hairdressers but Khoa and me, that was a job for Mum. And
she was appalling at it. No training, no method, no tools; just a pair of
kitchen scissors – the type that you use to cut chickens apart – and a two-buck
comb.”
and
“My wife is not one to make snap decisions, whether it’s about her
career or which placemats to buy at Ikea.”
Which now also brings me to where and how I can relate to Anh’s youngest
sister Tram. Now, it is often said that if you’re the only daughter in your
family (between boys) then you sometimes feel the need to look after them like you’re
their oldest sister (or their “mother”) which was sometimes the case for her,
growing up. I can relate to this because I’m like that too (even though I’m the
oldest of 3 girls). But what got me talking most about her was the fact that I
kept wondering how on earth she survived being the only girl between 2 boys. That’s
probably why her mum sent her to the hairdresser’s weekly, but I’m sure being
the youngest and only sister that she felt so loved and spoilt by the whole
family.
Another
reason as to why I can also relate to her is because in
my final years of school in 2006 and 2007, I was thrown into a classroom with
boys whose personalities were “emotively immature”* which meant that I had to
learn the “boys will be boys” lesson the hard way and I found this extremely
difficult to
deal with at times because I was the oldest of three girls who had male friends
with conservative upbringings. Walking into this unfamiliar territory took me
completely outside my comfort zone and on a big learning curve which I had to
grow through. I’m ok with it now, however, and I’ve gotten used to it, and I
now don’t really mind it anywhere. So Tram, I know how you feel sometimes honey.
I mentioned earlier that reading this book also taught me
lessons on how to be forgiving of others, and here’s the conclusion I’ve come
to – life gives you challenges but you can “choose” whether you allow for them
to “paralyse” you and dictate the decisions you make, or whether you use them
to help you grow stronger. Having said that, I feel that, realistically,
forgiveness for me has always had a conflicted connotation to it but I still
feel that it’s important to have it in your heart for the culprits and
wrongdoers that cause you pain or harm in order to move forward (even though
you sometimes can’t stand seeing them face-to-face). I believe in the saying
“prevention is better than cure” and I’ve sometimes managed to use that to my
advantage to use my experiences to help inspire and empower people through both
my writing and my personal presence in their lives.
I also mentioned earlier that I can relate to each of his family members
in different ways, well, that’s also no exception when it comes to both his
parents...
Firstly,
I’ve got so much respect and admiration for his mum because she managed to
lovingly understand, raise and instill a balanced attitude in her 3 children,
all whilst working to overcome adversities of her own such as single parenthood
and financial struggles. On top of that
she also opened up her home to help the needy if they were to require it, which
is inspirational. She was also the one who instilled the “forgiveness” trait in
her kids.
“It’s not the
‘person’ whom you hate, it’s the ‘situation’ that they’re in and/or have gotten
themselves in.” – Karen Stintz (chair
of the
Toronto Transit Commission
from 2010 to 2012).
“I returned to
the door and my father was sobbing. I was shocked. I had never seen him like
this before. Ever. He turned and walked away, and I didn’t see him again for
the rest of my childhood.”
“I realised that,
when he wasn’t drunk, this guy was indeed the most wonderful dad in the world.
Somehow, during the past eight years I had managed to block out all the good
memories and focused on what he’d done wrong.”
“Like me, it took
them both a while to get used to the idea. Since that day I have seen a healing
in my brother and sister. It hasn’t been easy and it’s taken a long time, but
there is a forgiveness that allows them to leave behind the anger and memories
of a violent drunken father, and remember a wonderful loving father.”
“There's only two times in life, there's now
and there's too late.”
“Always question your fear, Anh. There’s
almost never a good reason to be scared.”
I mentioned earlier that I had opinions on both his parents, which
hasn’t changed, and although I feel confident in what I want to say about his
dad; I want the next paragraphs to be about the power of both hope and
forgiveness conquering all adversity.
And it is out of respect for everyone who is still reeling from the
negative affects of their own life’s adversities and haven’t yet made and/or
are at peace with themselves, that I went on to endlessly research the book quotes
that were related to his dad and contemplated them deeply before I proceeded to
write this...In saying that, please know that my heartfelt compassion goes out
to those who still struggle somehow, I hope you one day find peace with
yourself and become strong warriors.
As I was thoroughly researching this story again, this time I
reflectively focused on the quotes that were related to his dad, I found that
deep down inside, he is a good loving dad who masked his pain with drunken
violence and while he consequently paid the price by becoming an absent father
as a result of a drunken violence incident gone wrong; he never stopped loving
his family (as noted in the second quote). What was equally admirable about him
is, when things got tough with his health, he somehow managed to use it to help
him gain a new perspective on life, forgave himself and repaired his
relationship with his family.
I also learnt two lessons from him: I’ll definitely
make more of an effort in future to question my fears (as noted in the sixth
quote) and while the fifth quote entails a different connotation which I understand, agree with and go by, it applies to me differently, particularly from
a professional perspective, because ever since I became a writer I’ve had so
much “creative adrenalin” for writing raring to go which I sometimes can’t keep
up with so I just need to make sure I have the capacity to do it all
(professionally and personally). For me, the fifth quote can be used either
way.
I know for a fact that Anh’s mum likes to keep copies of his memorabilia
and his wife is also a writer, so I knew exactly what I signed up for when I
decided to write this book reflection on his book and I just hope to do and serve them both justice
with it.
What I learnt from
reading his book was that no matter where you came from, you can overcome any
adversity and/or heartache through hard work and the power of both perseverance and forgiveness.
I’d like to thank both these authors for
allowing me to “temporarily live” in their worlds (through both their books) and
I’d like to dedicate this reflection to them both.
* * *
About
my assistant - Gina Lednyak is a freelance writer who was born in 1986 in Belarus and immigrated to America in 1993 where she grew up in New York. She also has a
degree in psychology, is the author of 2 books Coaching blueprint and How to
write the perfect book proposal. She now lives in Sydney and is a volunteer
for the Bondi Lifesaving Club, worked
in digital and social media
consulting and online branding and now is the director and chief social media strategist for a company called Lednyak & Associates.
“Transitional empowerment”: A term
that I came up with to describe when something you’ve always perceived as “negative”
suddenly becomes a turning point for you which can “inspire” and/or “empower”
you to turn it into a “positive”.
