Touched by a family of beautiful angels

Those that are worthy of your attention do not

scream out loud and proclaim how amazing they are.

They draw you in with a knowing evident in every

step they take. They bow in humility as others see

their own greatness in their eyes. – Lenita Vangellis

What do get when you have a Greek Australian actress who is best known for playing Poppy Skouros on Neighbours and a hot bloke who is best known for being a 2005 Australian Idol contestant? Lenita Vangellis and James Kannis who are a mother-and-son duo that were both born into a beautiful family of angels and have both equally become ones each in their own way.

      
I would’ve never, in my wildest dreams, thought that writing a fan letter to one of my favourite singers who I also look up to a lot would change my life forever.

Here’s my personal take on the way in which I would describe James Kannis (as I’ve gotten to know him).

James immediately captivated me with his really soulful singing voice from the moment he stepped on to the audition stage of Australian Idol back in 2005 and as the competition went on, I saw such an angelic enlightenment of positivity in his personality that was so effortlessly-natural that you can’t help but be drawn into and be inspired by.

Eight years ago, I was one of the luckiest musical fans of his that got to receive this treatment above which did make such a difference in my life to the point where I decided to track him down and thank him in person...

So putting pen to paper in writing that fan letter was my first step in starting this journey...

My whole purpose for this letter was to request an interview with him to learn how he always maintains a positive life attitude and his response was completely and amazingly unexpected: it turns out that he was just as equally inspired by me as I was by him (as his mother Lenita quotes it so eloquently).

The interview took place on April 7, 2009 which is a day I’ll never forget because it changed my life forever because I equally learnt just as much from interviewing him as well as from looking up to him.

I also established a great work rapport with his mum and got the opportunity to know her personally and wholeheartedly loved her just as equally as much as I loved James. 

We immediately hit off and got along well together at the interview and we decided to keep in contact and become friends thereafter which was nice...

James believes that I’m an inspiration to him because of my thriving and lively spirit combined with my victimlessly-motivational attitude to life, which is so kind of him to point out, let alone say.

I pretty much feel the same way about him and I also admire him (as I always say) mainly because, on a personal level, he’s one of the manliest people you could ever met yet deep inside he has this beautifully kind and soft heart that is filled with a limitless capacity of unconditional love that flows and shines through effortlessly and naturally towards whomever he meets.

I also got to form a lifelong bond with their amazing family as I got to visit Lenita’s parents (James' maternal grandparents) Matoula and George Psillakis on May 26, 2013 and I could reflectively say that I’m so proud to be associated with such a beautiful family full of angels in disguise as well as proud to call them part of my second family with Lenita Vangellis being like my second mum, spiritual mentor and friend and James Kannis as one of my role models, inspirational teacher and a really great friend who has become like a big brother to me and I’m so proud of them both.   

Love always Maria Makhoul.    


         

     

   

Fighting Chance blog 11

DisabilityCare

Hi Readers,

I’m writing this article in response to a Sydney Morning Herald article DisabilityCare’s name “close to being hated”.

In my response, I will explain my view of the words “disability” and “care” and suggest they are not in fact patronising or offensive when placed together, but I can understand the reasons for how and/or why it can controversially turn heads and divide opinions.

The purpose of the NDIS implemented with the name DisabilityCare was brought together as a unique and interesting concept which aims to help increase the independence of people with disabilities and through advertising educate the general public about the needs and capabilities of individuals living with a disability.

It is important to note that in some ethnicities having a disability is sometimes seen as a “stigma” so I can understand the freeing sense in saying you have a “disability” in a liberal and accepting country like Australia, but where do you draw line in terms of its perceptions and/or connotations? Are people being too sensitive?

In my Fighting Chance blog The prejudice of words, I explained the meaning of the word disability being a handicap that leaves one unable to do something and then suggested the use for the abbreviative term PLC (Permanent Lifetime Challenge) which I find more empowering, and perhaps a new abbreviative term I’ve now come up with called NNPLC (New Normal Permanent Lifetime Challenge) – for people who inherit challenges (e.g.: Sophie Delizio).

My next suggestion might be hotly contested but personally I’d much prefer the name be Special Needs Care purely because I’d like to see the NDIS provide/fund communication and mobility equipment to those who need it and also for there to be centres run by psychologists, social workers, youth and crisis workers and counsellors to help support disabled individuals and their families. These are the issues that matter! The name is simply an insignificant detail for the majority of those who will benefit the greatest from this new scheme.

I’d encourage you to realise that the word and/or term “care” isn’t as patronising after all because of the fact that there needs to be a realistic perspective kept and/or reserved for those who inherit and/or acquire physical or intellectual challenges. Examples:

- If you required chemotherapy for cancer treatment, then you would need care.

- If you get your limbs amputated from diabetes, then your needs become special which will then entail you to need care.

I guess the bottom line conclusively is that what we have proven is that words have significant power to denote certain feelings it’s all in how they’re used, perceived and/or how well they resonate with people that divide opinion, we must however not lose sight of the bigger picture: DisabilityCare will change thousands of lives for the better… regardless of the name.

My section in Fighting Chance Australia's e-newsletter - June 2013

From the Enterprise Project each newsletter Fighting Chance will be introducing one of our interns. This edition it is the turn of our resident in-house blog writer, Maria, who works with us two days a week writing about her experiences as a person with a disability for our online blog.

My name is Maria, I’m an aspiring journalist and I’m currently doing a creative writing course to help me improve my skills. I’ve been working as the in-house blog writer for Fighting Chance Australia since 2011.

When I was growing up I read fiction and novels like The Babysitters Club, Sabrina the Teenage Witch and New York Minute. Now as an adult, I’m more into reading celebrity biographies. 

One of the most interesting things about writing is that it allows you, without any judgement whatsoever; to go deep within you to places that you’ve never been before which in turn can sometimes offer you different perspectives and give you the opportunity to express yourself in different ways.

Personally, I see myself as a confident conversationalist and a social butterfly and on a professional level with this job, I try my very best to write thought-provoking and motivational articles that also raise awareness.                   

Invincibility gone wrong

I’m writing this article in response to a blog that I read on South African Olympian/Paralympian Oscar Pistorius who recently became controversially known for shooting his model girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp after mistaking her for an intruder.

While this topic has divided opinions, for me, what I was struck by most was that the fortnight before it took place; he was surprising a fan who was born with the same condition as his by turning up to join her at one of her training sessions…Little did she or the rest of the world know that a fortnight thereafter he’d be remanded in custody awaiting to stand trial for murder.

So upon hearing this news in the first place, my heart immediately went out to this little girl and her family because I’m sure that she’d been knocked for six over this but I’m resting assured that her family is supporting in the best way that they can.

My understanding of the blogs (which I’m responding to) is that there have also been a lot of questions surrounding the perception of one’s personality characteristics adopted from malpractice versus whether, if at all, there’s any correlation whatsoever between a person’s disability and the likelihood of violence and/or criminality tendencies that may impend on them if they were to break the law by making life-changing and “unfathomable” choices.

Please note that there’s a difference between being someone’s fan from the start and/or forever and/or seldomly knowing and/or becoming a fan of theirs upon hearing their name somewhere, so I’ll therefore respond to it from this angle – for me, I’m taking Melissa’s side on this because I feel and believe not everyone with a disability is susceptible to criminality and/or violence, nor should it influence public opinion. I do believe that Oscar Pistorius is first and foremost a human being and should be treated like one because based on what I’ve personally read and heard, I do feel this is and was simply a case of “mistaken identity” (until proven otherwise) and my heart equally also goes out both the families of his and Reeva Steenkamp’s as I write this.

I completely agree with Melissa’s viewpoint because for someone like Stella (whom Mellissa is opposing) who is big advocate for disability rights, it seems that her judgment “gloves” come off when it comes to “law-related human invincibility gone wrong” as noted in this quote of:

“We are ill-prepared to cope with the idea of a disabled man charged with murder.”

Which I hereby feel serves as a double-standard for Stella who is such a passionate advocate for equality. He is a man yes and he has a disability yes but does or should his disability influence public opinion? My feeling is that his disability should never play a role in our perception of him.

Conclusively I would argue rather that the reason Oscar as fallen so far was because we had him so high up on the social pedestal, that the hero has become the villain, that is why this case is so captivating.

You’re welcome to formulate your own opinions on the story on this link:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-02-19/young-oscar-pistorius-and-an-unfathomable-crime/4527424

Written by Maria Makhoul

Fighting Chance blog 9

Workplace Compassion

Back in February 2012, I interviewed myself and my colleagues about the employment hurdles that we’ve had to overcome. This time, I’m back, and in my latest Fighting Chance blog; I’m tackling the subject of overall office interaction in the workplace.

To get all the information I needed as research for this article, I conducted an anonymous questionnaire, asking questions like what challenges do you face in the office environment and how comfortably do you interact with fellow interns and staff. And from scrolling through the answers of this questionnaire I found the general consensus to be that the office is a positive, challenging and motivating space. This was particularly prevalent for new interns and those on work experience who had not previously been exposed to a workplace atmosphere and often at times find themselves “outside their comfort zone” for the first time.

 “I learn a lot from work and I learn from talking to other people in the workplace.” These comments suggest that the office is an encouraging and engaging space where individuals positively interact.

One of our staff members commented that his job taught him how to be more calm and understanding of other people’s values and opinions, “I have learnt to refrain from certain behaviours…like swearing! Just acting in a way that is appropriate for the office and trying to be mindful of my colleagues and interns”. I would suggest that although similar attitudes are adopted in most workplace settings, it is particularly essential in the Fighting Chance office. Because of the varying physical and intellectual abilities and behaviours of our interns and staff, I have observed that everyone is (willingly) committed to being actively sensitive, patient and understanding, which I think is what makes this space so special.

Secondly, another staff member who has a hearing impairment shared how this affects her at work. “I would advise anyone what I need. I need to be understood in a conversation. You can get my attention by saying my name first so I can concentrate on lip-reading the spoken word. When I’m in a confused state, I will walk away and not join in a group discussion.” This quote reiterates my early comments about the importance of creating an understanding and inclusive workplace environment in which all individuals must adapt their behaviour for the benefit of other interns and staff.

“I also feel that working here has given me a more positive outlook I am able to be more social”

Additionally, I also feel that it’s important for all employees to get along smoothly as well as establish a polite workplace rapport with each other.

All in all, to conclude this blog, I feel that I have learned that communication and understanding plays a huge role in everything in life, whether it’s in the workplace, a social setting and/or one’s personal life, providing that it’s done effectively and/or efficiently.

Maria Makhoul

Incontinence-It may not apply to who and/or what you think

Incontinence - It may not apply to who and/or what you think

Incontinence: Unable to restrain natural discharges or evacuations of urine and faeces.

Hi Readers,

Please note that I know that the subject of incontinence may not be the most charming topic of conversation for people to talk about, but I’m not writing this article to make readers cringe*, but to simply raise awareness about this issue and some of the stereotypical elements that sometimes surround it.

I’m sure that many people often associate incontinence with pregnancy and/or psychological nervousness (better known as “stress incontinence”), however, what people don’t realise is that it can also happen to people with disabilities too which can provoke shame and embarrassment just as much, particularly if you have Cerebral Palsy (CP) or Spina Bifida. Be assured you’re not alone, this situation can happen to both men and women and you don’t have to suffer in silence as there is help.

For me, I was born with moderate Cerebral Palsy and although I am and was toilet-trained, I still sometimes have accidents if I laugh too much and/or if I hold on for longer than usual.

As I noted previously, incontinence is a condition that happens to both men and women so it’s important for both genders to maintain an equal level of open communication between them in order to help prevent them from suffering in silence. Please note that sometimes men who have had a prostatectomy can also sometimes experience bouts of incontinence which is why it’s helpful for them if they “gradually” pluck up the courage to ask for help and speak up about it if they need to.       

My own experiences with incontinence over the years have sometimes been a bit challenging (especially around boys) and while I now have it under control these days, I did particularly find it hard to deal with, specifically when my male friends are around and they happened to witness me have an accident; which in turn, does sometimes make them feel somewhat uncomfortable and upsets me. In my final years of school in 2006 and 2007, I was thrown into a classroom with boys whose personalities were “emotively immature”* which meant that I had to learn the “boys will be boys” lesson the hard way and I found this extremely difficult to deal with at times because I was the oldest of three girls who had male friends with conservative upbringings, so walking into this unfamiliar territory took me completely outside my comfort zone and on a big learning curve, that at times I found confronting and this did sometimes serve as a hindrance towards my incontinence challenges because I then always felt the need to subconsciously conduct myself in a guarded manner in order to prevent the feelings of shame and embarrassment that it may provoke.

In saying that, what’s mentioned in the paragraph above serves as absolutely no excuse for boys themselves not to be educated on this issue, but it is rather persuasive in raising awareness in getting the stigma that surrounds this condition off once and for all. This can definitely be achievable if the person, with whom the sufferer is communicating this to, conducts themselves with a polite, respectful, sensitive, understanding and considerate attitude.

Here are my tips for incontinence sufferers:

·         Get to know your body physiologically and/or anatomically.

·         Enlist the help of a psychologist or physiotherapist (preferably one that specialises in urinary and bowel incontinence).

·         Train yourself to go to the toilet independently (while this is not often recommended due to the fact that it may disrupt your sleep pattern[s], sometimes when you just need to go then you just need to go. Please note that safety must be paramount when doing this because ideally it’s recommended that you go with light off as the light signals your brain to wake up, despite this fact it may be unsafe to do it that way, so each to their own).

·         Know your laughter “safety cue”. E.g.: If required, feel free to speak up and say “Do not ‘make me laugh’ until…”.

·         Designate a time to stop your liquid intake to avoid being “rudely interrupted” at night.

·         Experiment whether or not incontinence pads work for you.

·         Always go to the toilet before watching a movie and/or seeing family and friends that are funny.

Here’s to a social life full of joy, happiness and lots of laughter!

Cringe: To shrink back, as in fear; cower.

Stereotypical: [Adjective]-1. Beliefs that aren’t necessarily true. 2. Without freshness or appeal because of overuse.

“Emotively immature”: “Emotively immature” is term that I’ve come up with to help me distinguish the difference between boys who wholly “live and embrace” the “boys will be boys” concept and the well-behaved “goody-two-shoes” boys.

Fighting Chance blog 8

Perfection of an unprovoked reality

I’m writing this article in response to a report that I saw on Channel 7’s Sunday Night, a story entitled “A father’s love”.

This report chronicles the story of a boy named Jackson Keleher who was born with Cerebral Palsy as a result of oxygen deprivation. Doctors said, quite adamantly, that Jackson would never ever walk and would be unable to lead a ‘normal’ life. As hard as this is for any first-time parent to hear, little did they know the power of parental love can create wonders and perform miracles.

Jackson’s parents David and Carrie separated not long after his birth and David became Jackson’s sole and primary carer. David was adamant that Jackson would walk and communicate, through means of gruelling physical therapy treatments and constant speech pathology sessions, an emotionally exhausting venture for both David and Jackson. Whilst I admire David’s bravery as well as his fierce fatherly support, the thing that got me talking most was Carrie’s response as to how she felt about Jackson having CP. Carrie is significantly less involved in Jackson’s day to day routine, although she says she loves him and is happy and proud to be his mum she finds the ‘CP part’ particularly hard for her to adjust to and accept, to the point where she referred to it as “repulsive”.

(I welcome you to watch the report and formulate your own opinion on 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBcKVASGdBs ).

While Carrie’s comments did initially make me cringe, as I was researching this story thoroughly and reflecting on her remarks, I realised that she has valid concerns and such denial and an inability to accept stems from enormous guilt and grief.

For myself I’ll always remain grateful for the life that I have now, if there was a safe cure for CP, would I take it? And my answer to that would be “yes” …….and “no”. “Yes” because I wanted to be a school teacher but I’ve struggled with people’s perception of me. And “no” because I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to meet the amazing people that I have.

Given that, I’d like to pose some questions to you, reflecting on unfortunate circumstances; if you could go back in time and change anything at all in your life, what would it be? And If you had a chance to live your life without unwanted and/or unnecessary challenge(s), would you and why?

Greg Braden once said and I share his sentiments;
“Adversity is an opportunity for us to step into our mastery.”