Incontinence-It may not apply to who and/or what you think

Incontinence-It may not apply to who and/or what you think

Incontinence: Unable to restrain natural discharges or evacuations of urine and faeces.

Hi Readers,

Please note that I know that the subject of incontinence may not be the most charming topic of conversation for people to talk about, but I’m not writing this article to make readers cringe*, but to simply raise awareness about this issue and some of the stereotypical elements that sometimes surround it.

I’m sure that many people often associate incontinence with pregnancy and/or psychological nervousness (better known as “stress incontinence”), however, what people don’t realise is that it can also happen to people with disabilities too which can provoke shame and embarrassment just as much, particularly if you have Cerebral Palsy (CP) or Spina Bifida. Be assured you’re not alone, this situation can happen to both men and women and you don’t have to suffer in silence as there is help.

For me, I was born with moderate Cerebral Palsy and although I am and was toilet-trained, I still sometimes have accidents if I laugh too much and/or if I hold on for longer than usual.

As I noted previously, incontinence is a condition that happens to both men and women so it’s important for both genders to maintain an equal level of open communication between them in order to help prevent them from suffering in silence. Please note that sometimes men who have had a prostatectomy can also sometimes experience bouts of incontinence which is why it’s helpful for them if they “gradually” pluck up the courage to ask for help and speak up about it if they need to.       

My own experiences with incontinence over the years have sometimes been a bit challenging (especially around boys) and while I now have it under control these days, I did particularly find it hard to deal with, specifically when my male friends are around and they happened to witness me have an accident; which in turn, does sometimes make them feel somewhat uncomfortable and upsets me. In my final years of school in 2006 and 2007, I was thrown into a classroom with boys whose personalities were “emotively immature”* which meant that I had to learn the “boys will be boys” lesson the hard way and I found this extremely difficult to deal with at times because I was the oldest of three girls who had male friends with conservative upbringings, so walking into this unfamiliar territory took me completely outside my comfort zone and on a big learning curve, that at times I found confronting and this did sometimes serve as a hindrance towards my incontinence challenges because I then always felt the need to subconsciously conduct myself in a guarded manner in order to prevent the feelings of shame and embarrassment that it may provoke.

In saying that, what’s mentioned in the paragraph above serves as absolutely no excuse for boys themselves not to be educated on this issue, but it is rather persuasive in raising awareness in getting the stigma that surrounds this condition off once and for all. This can definitely be achievable if the person, with whom the sufferer is communicating this to, conducts themselves with a polite, respectful, sensitive, understanding and considerate attitude.

Here are my tips for incontinence sufferers:

·         Get to know your body physiologically and/or anatomically.

·         Enlist the help of a psychologist or physiotherapist (preferably one that specialises in urinary and bowel incontinence).

·         Train yourself to go to the toilet independently (while this is not often recommended due to the fact that it may disrupt your sleep pattern[s], sometimes when you just need to go then you just need to go. Please note that safety must be paramount when doing this because ideally it’s recommended that you go with light off as the light signals your brain to wake up, despite this fact it may be unsafe to do it that way, so each to their own).

·         Know your laughter “safety cue”. E.g.: If required, feel free to speak up and say “Do not ‘make me laugh’ until…”.

·         Designate a time to stop your liquid intake to avoid being “rudely interrupted” at night.

·         Experiment whether or not incontinence pads work for you.

·         Always go to the toilet before watching a movie and/or seeing family and friends that are funny.

Here’s to a social life full of joy, happiness and lots of laughter!

Cringe: To shrink back, as in fear; cower.

Stereotypical: [Adjective]-1. Beliefs that aren’t necessarily true. 2. Without freshness or appeal because of overuse.

“Emotively immature”: “Emotively immature” is term that I’ve come up with to help me distinguish the difference between boys who wholly “live and embrace” the “boys will be boys” concept and the well-behaved “goody-two-shoes” boys.