PLEASE let
love be
Hi Readers,
I’m writing this article in response to an
article that my Fighting Chance colleague Jo Berry
called Too Many Taboos and while she’s focused on tailoring it to
be disability-specific, in my attempt, I’m going to focus on the whole kit and
caboodle when it comes to disability struggles – from the well-meaning and/or
controversial setups between friends and family, personal insecurities brought
on by adversity and to achieving against all odds; and sharing stories
chronicling all 3 aspects.
When you
often hear the term “I’m ‘smitten’ with somebody” then that’s usually an
indication that they’re romantically involved with someone, so why should
people with PLCs (permanent lifetime challenges) miss out on everything
romantic love has to offer?
What is important for us to note is that people
with PLCs are also human beings who have kind hearts that have the capacity to
love, support and encourage others just like able-bodied people can and do, the
only difference is that when it comes to being in intimate or romantic
relationships, the sole challenge they face is that they need to make precise
decisions regarding aspects of their relationship or where it might futuristically lead
to.
PLC-affected
sufferers have their own personal insecurities too and therefore must remember
that beauty isn’t just skin deep when it comes to love.
Take for example, American war hero turned actor
J.R. Martinez who received burns to 40% of his body (arms, hands and face) in a
car explosion whilst deployed in the Iraqi war. After undergoing 34
reconstructive skin graft surgeries, he thought he might never find love and
was quoted in an Entertainment Tonight interview as saying:
“What girl
is gonna feel comfortable kissing my scars on my cheeks and forehead?”
Little did
he realise that the truth in the saying of “beauty is in the eye of the
beholder” would somehow ring true for him one day, because he’s now married and
a father to one year-old daughter Lauryn.
Then there’s
Serbian Australian American-based motivational speaker and author Nick Vujicic
who was born with no arms and legs and thought of suicide when he was just 8
years old. He never shied away from the idea he might find romantic love and
get married and went on to achieve it despite adversity. He even said:
“I may not be able to hold my
wife’s hand but I am able to hold her heart.”
Then when
his wife Kanae got asked how she feels about her love life setting which came
with a difference, she said:
“To me it wasn’t any different
falling in love with Nick, I fell in love with him the way he is now. Because I
had dated other guys and I had gone for the physical, and you know, but I was
tired of that, and the moment I met Nick I was looking for other things, and
all those things I found them in him. So that’s when I felt like wow, he’s not
only boyfriend material, but he’s like – he could be my husband.”
He now is
her husband and to her, he has “everything he needs” and now they’re the proud
parents of one year-old son Kiyoshi.
Regardless
of what challenges you face in life, I conclusively feel that nothing should
stop you from having relationships in whichever form they come in. Both
platonic and romantic relationships are beautiful – there’s nothing wrong with
girls and boys, men and women having close friendships with one another and
have it be recognised as a normal
part of life. Furthermore, the only people that should be making decisions
about their own relationships are the people involved in the relationships
themselves.
You’re
welcome to formulate your own opinion on the interview links that chronicle all
3 aspects and read my colleague Jo Berry’s article:
Singer/songwriter Tina Arena on the well-meaning
and/or controversial date setups between family and friends - http://au.news.yahoo.com/sunday-night/features/article/-/19330508/tina-arena/
American war hero turned actor J.R. Martinez on
finding love despite adversity - http://www.etonline.com/news/126416_JR_Martinez_Reveals_Shocking_Injury_Photos/index.html
Nick Vujicic on finding love against all odds:
part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_-Ws_dhS44 and
part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYB3QSLarLg
My colleague Jo Berry’s article - http://www.fightingchance.org.au/?p=904
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