Fighting Chance blog 3

Stares and the Power of Kind Words:

Tuesday, 24 January 2012 23:43

While babies and toddlers can't help staring, when other people stare it can be hurtful. This is why it's important for people to be educated about disability and why staring can be harmful. As anyone who has a disability will know, growing up can be like riding a rollercoaster. Often you search far and wide for inspiration about how you can make your life more meaningful and achieve a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Furthermore, one of the most common and frequent hurdle that you face is the unkind stares of others. Despite attempts to ignore people’s stares, it is still a hard thing to endure. For me personally, I’ve narrowed the reason for these stares to be because I have to use a wheelchair for long distances. I have moderate cerebral palsy and I get tired. As I’ve previously mentioned my second work blog “The Prejudice of Words”, I sometimes feel “reluctantly” lucky that I can do the things I can. For example, I feel very lucky to have clear verbal speech. My heart also goes out to my friends who can’t speak, or whose speech is severely impaired but are just as equally smart and bright as me. I often think how daunting this must be for people who cannot speak, to be stared at by others. For me growing up, I didn’t attract as much “staring” attention when I use my walking frame. I always found this interesting, and thought it to be because the walking frame gives me a sense of normalcy, which is not there if I use my wheelchair. Personally, I strongly believe that no-one should be allowed to stare at me just because they think I’m “different” when I use my mobility equipment, but I only give exceptions to this rule to babies and toddlers because “stare helplessly” without meaning to cause any harm. So, I went on a quest to try and find something to help people deal with their staring woes, and recently I found just the thing. I was out shopping in Hornsby and walked into a shop called “ESQ Design” and saw a grey t-shirt with a cute little panda that read: “Don’t worry be happy, look at me I’m happy”. The message on this shirt is one which I think all people with disabilities should carry with them, and I believe it is one which could make a difference to people’s confidence and self-esteem. It certainly has for me. People might look at us, but let it be because we are happy with who we are.

Fighting Chance blog 2

The prejudice of words Monday, 31 October 2011 04:59 Fighting Chance's in-house blog writer, Maria Makhoul, on why language itself poses a big challenge for people with a physical disability... Growing up with Cerebral Palsy (CP) is tough. I have personally faced discrimination and prejudice throughout my life. But at just 13 I proactively decided to overcome that discrimination. I wholeheartedly decided to learn how to have the inner strength and deep personal confidence that I needed to face whatever hurdles life threw at me, despite the inevitable stares my disability brought on and what others thought of me. Now, I know surviving your teenage years is and can be an eternity but you can get through it. My own teenage years also came with their challenges. I was born with the moderate type of cerebral palsy which means that while I am able to walk using mobility equipment to support me with my physical balance issues, I use a wheelchair for long distances because I get tired. Because my CP is mild, I sometimes feel “reluctantly” lucky that I can do the things I can. But despite that, I personally try to push myself to try and attempt new recreation activities as well as pursue new personal and career goals. I even have come up with my own terminology for the idea of “disability”. The term I use is “permanent lifetime challenge” because it empowers people to believe in themselves, and realise that having a disability won’t stop a person from leading a limitless life. My preference for the terminology “permanent lifetime challenge” came from two realisations. Firstly, I feel that the word “disability” is a problematic one. 1. The word “disability” actually means “a handicap that leaves one unable to do something”. 2. From that definition itself, the word “handicap” actually means “something that holds a person back or makes things harder”. 3. The syllable “dis” means to belittle someone or to show disrespect for someone. Now, what is really interesting about the concept of being considered ‘disabled’ is that some people assume that just because you are physically “crippled” then that must mean that you are also intellectually “crippled” too. I hope very much that perception changes someday soon. In my opinion, a lot of people are nervous about befriending someone with a disability, let alone employing them, solely because of that perception. And it is so wrong. My second realization of the value of the term “permanent lifetime challenge” came from these three words themselves. 1. The word “permanent” means lasting, or meant to last for a very long time and so not temporary or changing 2. The word “lifetime” means the period of time during which an individual is alive. 3. The word “challenge” means the calling for work, effort and the use of one's talents. I personally and truly believe that words have power. The reason why I say this is because I see that some people think that their disability can stop them or limit them from doing normal, regular activities and living their life to its fullest potential, which can both extremely sad and heart-breaking for both the individual and their family. In fact, it should be the complete opposite!  Such things as ‘disability’ don’t have to control and consume you, unless you personally allow them to do so.

Lenita's book promotion article

There’s more to my friend Lenita Vangellis than meets the eye… Although she’s best known for being an actress and lyricist as well as being the mother of 2005 Australian Idol contestant, turned singer/songwriter and youth and crisis worker James Kannis.

Although she’s a woman of other multiple talents, despite that she is equally one of the most loving, humble, strong and compassionate people that I’ve met; and while trying to remain true to our personable self and individuality can sometimes be a tremendously challenging task for us to uphold particularly when you’ve spent most of your life having your “career classifications” overshadow your personable identity, and yet despite that, Lenita always conducts herself with a full capacity of humbleness, elegance and grace.

Some people say she is strong-willed, which is true but she’s also a really free-spirited individual as well as a really loving mother who supports her children and allows them the freedom to grow. Anyone who’s taken the time and/or has had the opportunity to get to know her personally will understand exactly what I’m talking about. 

Mid last month, I was lucky to have been invited to support her in the launch of her book "Ashanti's Symphony". Overall, I had a great night and it was great to see her in person again, to reunite with James 3 years after I interviewed him, and meet the rest of her family (Lenita’s 3 other kids, husband and mum) whom were all really friendly. When I was there, I saw Greek-Australian celebrity fashion designer Alex Perry (whom she’s been friends with for years) and he made a really nice introductory speech about her and I also coincidentally bumped into "My Kitchen Rules 2012" participant Steve Georgiou.

The book is available to buy on https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14422847-ashanti-s-symphony .

Chinese New Year & Dragon Boat Racing

The Dragon-Boat Racing festival is a yearly event that eventuates in honour of Chinese New Year, and I was lucky enough to be a part of it the other day.

Chinese New Year is a celebration where people of Chinese heritage from all over the world come together to celebrate a day that symbolises the arrival of luck, happiness, and prosperity. This year, 2012, is the year of the dragon. It is traditional for families to de-clutter their houses to get rid of the “old demons” from the previous year in order to start afresh in the next.

I started off the day by catching the ferry from Meadowbank to Darling Harbour, and while I was there, to my surprise; I discovered that Chinese New Year Celebrations were on. I noticed that there were boats with interesting drawings of dragons on them and as I come closer, I realised that they were boats made for racing.

Dragon Boat-Racing is a traditional Chinese New Year activity. The boats that we saw were competing in the Chinese New Year championships. The Chinese New Year competition has the highest levels of participation of any dragon boat racing contest in the country.

While I was there, a man named walked past and called out to me: “Hi Maria”, then when I suddenly turned around to see who it was; it turned out to be one of the disability personal trainers that I know, called Alexander Roach.

“How are you?” He said. “I’m competing in the race with Lisa Gombinsky, you can find her if you want.”

I watched a bit of a race then I spotted a man that was wearing traditional Chinese attire who goes by the name of “Mr Lucky” and he handed me a red envelope with a chocolate coin in it that symbolises the traditional Chinese practice of giving presents on Chinese New Year.

The highlight of the day was, when “Mr Lucky” handed me the symbolic red envelope with the chocolate coin in it as a gift.

Being beautiful and thinking beautifully

Please note that the following blog was intended to be a TV, radio or an online testimonial/advertorial chronicling my experience using the product “Proactiv”. But due to the fact that my “before shots” and “after shots” photos were unclear I can no longer pursue it that way, instead I’ve decided to turn it into a blog.

I would like to thank my actress and lyricist friend Lenita Vangellis for taking the time and liberty to help me edit the advertorial script draft.

In this blog, I’d like to challenge you readers to really think deeply about what it really means “to be beautiful and to think beautifully”, in other words; what really defines “true beauty”? I not only want use this article to promote “Proactiv” and its “looking good is feeling good” component “guarantee” but to somehow also convey a message to readers that they don’t have to “look” a certain way to “be” beautiful, and that “actions” speak louder than words and “looks”.

Let’s face it; all of us are bound to face personal self-image or body issue(s), whether they are permanent or temporary, at some point or another in our lives. In some cases “first impressions” are based or judged on the way that you “look” and we sometimes can’t particularly argue or debate that point (celebrities sometimes have these issues too.)

But believe it or not, there is and always has been

a correlation between beauty and brains that has been around for centuries and which “does actually exist”; (when you come to think of it). I personally believe that many of us have forgotten about it and/or have failed to realise it. These days our society is based on materialistic things and the only perceptions that we seem to get of “beauty” these days are those from celebrity-related magazines.

I guess the bottom line is, that each and every single one of us should and must make more of an effort to “wholeheartedly” discover, or at least try to discover,
the unique and individual qualities that help us to “formulate” our beauty from within and to celebrate that.

For me, I rely and have always relied on my inner beauty to help guide me and shine during my own personal challenges whether it’s with or without acne. Believe me it does actually work, and it could work for you too.

My experience with “Proactiv” is as follows:

I was born with Cerebral Palsy (CP) and have suffered from acne throughout my teenage years. The acne itself didn’t affect me so much. However it wasn’t long before I was subjected to the inevitable stares my disability brought on and people continually asking me what was wrong with my face. That and the name calling which at times was hard to handle eventually took its toll on my self-esteem. By the time I reached my adult years the constant taunting eventually took control of what little self-esteem I had left. Even so, I constantly remind myself that it’s one’s inner beauty that really counts.

I know Cerebral Palsy is something I have to live with but the acne I could do something about, that’s when I turned to “Proactiv” and never looked back. My skin has improved together with my self-esteem and now I’m even more determined to live my life to its fullest potential!

Men's health article

This article was inspired by both this website https://www.pozible.com/profile/soften-the-fck-up and the video on this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-evWaD2mlM , which encourages young boys and men to speak up about their problems and emotional health.   

My personal new year’s resolutions for 2012 is to help boys and men to permit themselves to confidently and wholeheartedly speak up and talk openly about their problems or whatever is on their mind. I believe that we all have a responsibility as members of society to encourage young boys and men to speak up as much as possible without being self-conscious rather than using harmful coping methods.

The question then becomes: How is this possible? Well, I believe it all start in one’s home and I think that dads have a big part to play by committing themselves to supporting their sons throughout their lives.

I guess if you’re a friend or a teacher and you see a student or friend going through a difficult time then I’d advise you to ask them how they’re feeling and slowly encourage them to speak up.

So, the bottom line is that speaking up is no insult to your manhood.

Fighting Chance blog 1

Fighting Chance is extremely excited to publish the first blog by Maria Makhoul, our in-house blog writer. Maria has cerebral palsy and has been working with us for the last four months. Maria will be writing regular blogs about her experiences as a young person with disabilities, to give us all an insight into her experiences, and the challenges she faces as a person with a disability.

My name is Maria Makhoul. I’m a freelance writer, student and aspiring journalist and interviewer. I have mild cerebral palsy.

From now on I will be writing this blog for Fighting Chance, and of course, I would greatly welcome any comments and contributions from others who read this blog.

Growing up, I kept my own journals from age eight to 16 and have always loved writing. As for interviewing, I’m quite a “social butterfly” and a confident conversationalist, and I’m currently doing a journalistic creative writing course to help me improve my writing skills for journalism.

“Employment” means different things to different people. To many, it’s simply about getting any sort of job that pays enough money to cover the bills and day-to-day living costs. But to me, it has to be something that you love to do and are passionate about, and that – ideally – is meaningful, fulfilling and rewarding all at the same time.

So I’m thrilled to be working with Fighting Chance and the O’Reilly family, as both Laura and Jordan O’Reilly are so driven to help improve the lives of people with disabilities. At the moment - as many of us with disabilities know only too well - it is very difficult, if not impossible, to get a job because of discriminatory attitudes and stupid prejudice. Society needs to give people with disabilities a chance! 

For myself, my dream is to get a job as a journalist in a mainstream newsroom, but I’ve learnt that I don’t work all that well under pressure, because I like to do things at my own pace. So, to start with at least, I need a work environment where I can learn and develop my writing skills and confidence, at my own pace. And Fighting Chance is giving me that opportunity, by employing me to help manage, publicise and promote its “Kairos Project”, which is basically about developing innovative, computer-based work opportunities for people who have physical disabilities, but who are bright, smart and ambitious – like me!

Many “ordinary/normal” people look at people with physical disabilities and just automatically assume they are cognitively impaired as well. That’s certainly the case when most “ordinary people” encounter a person with a physical disability who can’t speak, or whose speech is severely impaired. But spend just a few minutes with a person with physical disabilities, no matter how severe, and you realise there is a smart, bright person inside that disabled body.

Personally, I see myself as a strong, assertive, independent woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to fight for it if necessary.

Which, for anyone with a disability, too often it is.